New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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