Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
