Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You ruined the universe
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize