im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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