I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
