11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
