u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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