Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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