I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
