i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
its liver damage thursday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
