Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
