I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize