I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
