I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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