sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
