so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
