Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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