You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize