Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
