I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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