I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
