had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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