I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize