remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
as a side note pls kill me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
