life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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