Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the day after is always just damage control
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
