so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
