Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
