I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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