i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
