Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
