We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
