why didn't you poke me back
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
