honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
