24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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