im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
