i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
