the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
