bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
