Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
