I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
