when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
