I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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