I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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