Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what day is it and did you see me today?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
