she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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