I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
