You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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