I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
