i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
