eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
