K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
