I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
