Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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