I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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