So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize