Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
