Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
