Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
