Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
