I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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