it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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