yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just gargled with NyQuil
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
