I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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