this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
