I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
