Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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