I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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