Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this will be a night to untag.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
