Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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