I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
